Um, Well, I Hate To Say "I Told You So!"...

...when "I told you so!" means "suicide."

Don't follow?

Well, you probably thought my Watchmen review was a bit too over the top. It may have been somewhat scathing, but hey, I didn't blow my brains out in the theater. Oops. Too soon?

Now I know that we are taught suicide is like a one-way ticket to Hell, but I also know that God in his infinite mercy understands all extenuating circumstances -- like viewing three excruciatingly long hours of calculated cinematic mind-rape. I think we can all safely say that is only by God's grace that most of us have avoided the full blunt-force soul-trauma experienced during that torture masquerading as a movie.

In short, Watchmen is a film scientifically proven to make you want to kill yourself. Literally.

All kidding aside, we should probably say a prayer or two for that brave but all too empathetic movie-goer. Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison, my friend.