"The Vampire Diaries", huh? (OoOoOOoOooOOoOoOOh!)

Well thankfully the new vamp story is gonna be on the WB.......er...uh....I mean, the "CW", so you just KNOW it's gonna be gooooood. *Cough*Cough*Coughing up lots of blood* Aaaand *blech!*

Okay, okay, okay. We all know "Twilight TV"......er, um...uh, I mean, I meant, I mean "The Vampire Diaries", yeah...we all know that "The Vampire Diaries" is going to suck big neck...but I still watched this durnded "extended preview" for the show. It's pretty entertaining, but, uh, not in the way it intends to be.


Don't get me wrong, the first minute or so is actually not that bad, it looks quite watchable, in fact -- but then it falls apart like a delicious but crumbly honey butter chicken biscuit from Whataburger. I think I stopped taking it seriously when the good-ish vampire's name was first mentioned. It's "Stefan Salvatore", by the by. Really? Stefan? Really? Salvatore, huh? And you're a Gemini? And you're favorite color is blue, not black and red? Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!

But this was not even the best part of the youtubess video. What I really wanted you to see was the comments...comments that all seemed to be written by bizarre Sasha Baron Cohen characters. Here are 10 of them, 10 comments I consider to be a good sampling of the whole........

'lovescrayons101' writes:
"THAT IS SOOOOOOO COPYING TWILIGHT!!!"

Well, the Bible did it first.

'notdonebaking' writes:
"The Vampire Diaries were written in the early 90s. How exactly does it rip off a book that came out over a decade before it?

Time travel?"

Yep. Ain't it a bitch?

'dubby115' writes:
I am disappointed! Isn't Stephen supposed to be hot?

Nope. Neither is Stefan.

'paowie555' writes:
i always imagine stefan looks like tom cruise with curly locks!

Me too, Powie. Meeee too.

'buuuhja' writes:
"when do i com in tv??"
and then
i meen. when do it come in tv??

For the last time, Buddha, DON'T com in TV!!

'canani02' writes:
why was elena coming out of the guys restroom at 1:00?"

Er...well...

'gossipgirldidi' writes:
LOVEEEEEE

That.

"I profered tv series because they wont resume the book in 2 hours... is better this way...."

Yeah, I proffered a few TV series to the networks back in the day.

'NoUCntDoItLykMe' writes:
"CNT W8 2 WATCH THIS BTW!"

0 YH, $I$T3R, M3 N31Th3R. 0H M@n! Eye c@N'T w8 2 St@B u 1Nn tHe I & TH3n 3@t @ll ur br8ns.

and finally, my personal favorite --

'darksaphire919' writes:
"shes supposed to be blonde and has lapis lazilis eyes wtf"

Lapis Lazilis eyes? What the duck?!



Oh. Okay...?




Read, Kindly Light...

Holy Keyser Söze! David Carradine is dead?

He starred in the popular 1970's television series "Kung Fu" as Kwai Chang Caine, he was nominated for a Golden Globe for his work as the eponymous villain of Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill" -- and now, he is dead. According to a Thai police official, the 72-year-old actor was found "...hanging by a nylon rope in a hotel room closet in Bangkok, Thailand." Whether his death was a suicide or a homicide has yet to be determined, but an autopsy is being conducted.

In honor & memory of Mr. Carradine, here is a gallery of his work, and below is the wonderful "Superman monologue" he delivers to Uma Thurman in Kill Bill: Volume 2.


But whether or not you were a fan of his, you should say a prayer for the soul of Mr. Carradine.

Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.
Et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion,
Et tibi reddetur votum in Jerusalem
Exaudi orationem meam
Ad te omnis caro veniet.
Requiem aeternam dona defunctis, Domine.
Et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine
Et lux perpetua eis.

Kyrie, eleison!
Christe, eleison!
Kyrie, eleison!


R - I - P

Requiescat In Pace.
May He Rest in Peace.

-----> CNN
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Wokka Wokka!

Okay. It's official. I am in love with Craig Ferguson. I love him. I love him, and I want to make babies with him. I will bear his children.

In an effort to keep myself from finally hijacking my own pop culture blog and turning into a creepy little fansite devoted entirely to "that Scottish Conan guy", I have decided that every night I will post a few clips from the previous night's Late Late Show. Now, as I meant to publish this post yesterday, you, my lucky readers, actually get a double-dose of Craig McFerguson's sexy madness. I'll be posting up bits from last night's show later this evening.

So then...2 nights' previous, Craig had on Dennis Leary as the lead guest, and he was forced to 'bump' the comic who was supposed to follow, one 'Fozzy Bear'. Below is the opening bit from the June 2nd episode, which takes the exact formula of the orignal Muppet Show and makes it extra awesome with a side of rotf.


"Don't EVER touch me. Don't."


"What Did We Learn On The Show Tonight, Craig?"

Pooooor Fozzy.

Go HERE for more Craig. And check out that guy's friggin' wallpaper!
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"there's a green one & a pink one & a blue one & a yellow one..."

"...and they're all made out of ticky tacky, and they all look just the same."

Recognize those lyrics? That's the last four lines of the first stanza of Melvina Reynolds' ironically cheerful ditty, "Little Boxes," which was made famous as the theme of my new favorite TV show, Weeds. However, that odd, quirky, dark soccer-mom-drug-dealer dramedy deserves a whole 'nother post -- a whole score of other posts, in fact. As you may have already guessed by now, we're just concerned with the Weeds theme song today. You see, one of the many brilliant little details of the show is that during its 2nd and 3rd seasons, each episode began with a different cover of Melvina's "Little Boxes." It is truly an addictive song, a fun and simple melody with catchy lyrics, the kind that get stick in your head forever...but in a good way. Anywhoo, below are a dozen or so of the afore-mentioned covers from some spectacular artists, including Elvis Costello, Regina Spektor, The Shins, Jenny Lewis, Johnathan Rice, and the Decemberists. My only regret is that Zooey hasn't done one as She & Him, seeing as she was the special guest star of 3 or 4 episodes.


Melvina Reynolds - Little Boxes

The original - a happy-go-lucky little tune about cookie-cutter suburban houses (i.e. ticky-tacky little boxes) and the frighteningly happy & squeaky-clean WASP clones that inhabit them. It makes you want to whistle while you work.


Pete Seeger - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

Pete was a good friend of Melvina Reynolds, who at one point said that he played "Little Boxes" so well that most people thought he was the original composer. Listen to all the goofy laughter of his audience in the background.


Roger Scime - Little Boxes (soooooorta loosely covering Melvina Reynolds)

It's obvious that Robert's uh...expanding upon Melvina's song (more like putting a little of his spin to it). I do love the bit about "The Wal-Mart & the Wal-Mart & the Sam's Club & the Wal-mart" and the rent-a-cops. Tarnation, is this not the most whistlable tune ever?


Elvis Costello - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

It's Elvis Costello. Need I say more?


Regina Spektor - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

I love this here piano gal and her rendition of "Little Boxes." It doesn't get much more melodic than this.


Christopher O'Riley - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

Speakin'a pianos, here's the only instrumental version of "Little Boxes" on the list. I was unable to get the string orchestra version, which is of course lovely as well.


The Shins - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

I like the Shins a lot. [sarcasm]I know, I'm original. No one else likes them. That's why I like them so much. No one has ever heard of, much less liked, the Shins. This is a good cover by this young upstart band, a relative unknown.[/sarcasm]


Jenny Lewis & Johnathan Rice - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

I keep tellin' my friends we should play "Six Degrees of Conor Oberst" as he is the indie music equivalent of Kevin Bacon. I first listened to Bright Eyes 4 years ago, and through a love of him, all his collaborators, and their gorgeously unique work, I began seeking out the music of Jenny Lewis, Rilo Kiley, The Postal Service, Death Cab For Cutie, M. Ward, Neva Dinova, Maria Taylor, Johnathan Rice, She & Him, etc., etc, etc. So, Conor Oberst is connected to Melvina Reynolds, Elvis Costello, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I'm done.


Linkin Park - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

One tiny shiny bit of poppy goodness. Not a big fan of Linkin Park, but they do a great cover here.


As The Crow Flies - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

Right now, I am in heaven. That is all.


Nara Leão - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

A cover from the only Brazilian singer on the list, and coincidentally, it happens to be in Brazilianese. A beautiful, beautiful version, to be sure. I love hearing "ticky tacky" surrounded by a bunch of exotic-sounding foreign words.


The Decemberists - Little Boxes (covering Melvina Reynolds)

Well, my friends, I have saved the best for last. I mean, my absolute favorite band here in Fort Worth is The Theater Fire, and TTF is basically The Decemberists with a heaping dose of old-school country and a dash of mariachi added to their big group dark folk. This, my friends, is the best cover on the list, the best version of "Little Boxes" aside from the original. Hands down. And here's why, in Chris Funk's own words:

we thought it would be appropriate to have the chord progression shift to a minor key, suggesting a bit of tension and more directly, a darker tone. The song really isn’t that cheery when you dig a little deeper and get past that sweet voice and melody, in reality quite depressing…ah life.

True dat, true dat.

(Hit the jump for the full set of lyrics and one scandalous promo photo of Mary Louise-Parker [the show's star]).


Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.


Read, Kindly Light...

Craig Ferguson on evil vampires... and their genitals.....

FIRST OFF: This is Cowtown & Coolage's 50th post! Yay! Can I get a "woot!"? And it's almost been half a year since I started this blog. Dang. 6 months and only 50 entries? That's like not even 10 posts per month on average. Hell, that's not even 9 posts a month. *Sniff*. I'm so lazy. *Sniff*Sniff*. I guess this is what happens when you are distracted from distraction by distraction.

SECONDLY: Man, how did I miss Conan's first Tonight Show?! He took his rightful place on the 10:30-11:30 slot, and I didn't get to watch it. Damn.

THIRDLY: This pain is partially mitigated, as Craig's visit from "The Rerun Fairy" has ended; now the "Live Fairy" is here to stay on the Late Late Show. And last night was a particularly great episode; Craig was at his goofiest/silliest/angriest/craziest/sexiest/Scottishest. (read: best).

Anywhoo, here's an awesome little video from the youtubes in which Guillermo Del Toro and Craig Ferguson say everything I tried so hard to say in that long loooooong rant concerning those durnded bloodsucking vampires. And of course, Craig Ferguson says it so much better, that funny Scottish Conan basterd!




And now for "What Did We Learn On The Show Tonight, Craig?"


Mmmmmmmmm. 2 Late Late hosts wrestling naked live? OoOooOoOoooOoooOOoOooOOOHhHhh!!!
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Black Cab Sessions - Cabbies Never Had It So Good

A few days ago I was catching up on a bunch of the music blogs I follow on Google reader, and one of them mentioned some band or another being featured on some website called the "Black Cab Sessions." I was intrigued, so I checked it out. And wow. Just wow. This site is the best little slice of indie pie since Daytrotter, and that, my friends, is saying something, something serious. When I first happened upon the the site, I spent a good hour just cramming and cramming as much musical goodness as I could handle in one sitting. And now I keep coming back for more.

So, what are the Black Cab Sessions? Well, in their own words:

"THE SESSIONS ARE ALL ABOUT GREAT MUSIC AND THE VENUE STRIPS THIS TO ITS ESSENCE."

What, then is this great venue? Why, the back seat of a little black cab, of course! What these people do is this: they get in touch with some of the best (and I mean the best) up-and-coming indie bands and catch them just before or after they play a gig. Then they share a cab ride to wherever the bands are headed, and along the way they record the artists as they play a one-song one-take stripped-down acoustic session. I am always in favor of 'stripping down' a set. I figure if a song is really good, then the live acoustic version will probably be even better. That's the Black Cab Sessions' above-mentioned philosophy: stripping a song down to its bare and beautiful essence. And let me tell you, they have be-a-utiful songs to start out with. I mean, Fleet Foxes, Peter and the Wolf, Death Cab For Cutie, Bon Iver, Dawn Landes, Calexico, Daniel Johnston, Spoon, My Morning Jacket, The New Pornographers, Damien Jurado, Doves -- these are just a few of the amazing artists with whom they've shared a taxi. Hell, it almost makes me wanna become a taxi driver just for the off chance that I might get the opportunity to see some of these guys perform some of their best material just a foot away from me. In fact, it makes me go "Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!"

Long story kinda short, you should go there. Nowish. In fact, you should go RIIIIGHT NOW.

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I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of-Ah! Aaah! AaaaAaaAaAaAAAaggghk! *Blech.*

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! starts tonight at 8/7 central on NBC.

So, is "I'm a Celebrity..." torture? Evil? Pure evil? What reality shows have always tended towards anyway? Human sacrifice as a means to ensure a good corn harvest. The end of civilization as we know it? Or the best damn thing ever?

I say: ALL OF THE ABOVE. I'm definitely watching. Hey, TV robbed me of my soul long ago. My vote: STEPHEN BALDWIN. IN A CAGE. WITH A TIGER. OR TWO. OR TEN.
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Please, Just Stake Me. Please.

I love Joss Whedon, and every single oddball but intelligent geeky TV masterpiece thing-a-ma-bob/jig he creates. Love it, love it, love it, llluuuuuuuuuuvvvv it all. Yep, I'm the kinda guy who fits neatly into the "Whedonite" niche of the "Madatoms' comparative chart of Internet cults."

So, suffice it to say that I was super-duper-uber-Pisssssed when I heard that the got-danged Kazuis were making a "Buffy" reboot WITHOUT JOSS WHEDON(!!!). I actually tried to blog out this rage the day after I read the news, but I was too damn angry to form a clear thought, let a coherent sentence. That's why you're only reading about it now.

On a somewhat related issue, I oh-so-passionately hate "Twilight" and all the hideous and ridiculous destruction of a perfectly valid literary genre for which it stands. I hate it, hate it, hate it, HATE IT. So, I was quite amused when I read this hilarious little comic strip, which fused my love of Joss and my hatred of the Kazuis and the Twilight fad into one brilliant pop-culture insight. I highly recommend it; please give it a read and a few chuckles/giggles.
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"Yooouuutuuube" -- another solid choice in addicting time-wasters

"Yooouuutuuube" sounds like something Craig Ferguson would say during his opening monologue (accompanied of course by Salvadore Dali's crazy portrait and obligatory "OOooOooOOOooh!" noise), but it is in fact a real website, albeit a strange, psychedelic sort of website that defies most descriptions.

If you follow the first link, you will be asked to enter a youtube video URL or a youtube word search. You can also simply click for a random video. Then you choose what height and width you'd like to see the videos in, and choose the "shuffle" effect or the "spiral" or neither. Then just click the big ol' "DO THIS" button at the bottom, and you're done. What happens now? Well, now yooouuutuuube turns the video or videos you've chosen into a quirky, fascinating, and often stunning collage of stop-motion footage. It doesn't work well with every single youtube video, but given the right kind of video and the proper parameters, and yooouuutuuube can produce something truly beautiful. It's the kind of thing that makes a straight arrow like me see the appeal of certain eh...... "pharmaceuticals."

To demonstrate this, here are the links to a few new yooouuutuuube videos created by Yours Truly:


---------->
"All Souled Out" - Conor Oberst & The Mystic Valley Band


---------->
"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" - She & Him


---------->
"Summer Grof" - The Spinto Band


---------->
"Pork and Beans" - Weezer


If you make any compositions of your own, please post the links in the comments. "I want to see your skills of an artist!"
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Movie Titles Brainteaser - one hell of a way to waste your day

Empire made this fun and engaging little quiz in honor of its 20 year anniversary. I gotta warn you, though... it's very addicting, and it can take a while. Once you start you have to finish! (It does however have a "Save" feature so that you can return to it another time)

There are 50 movie titles hidden in the picture; some are obvious, some are not so obvious, and some are just plain ridiculous. (Hint: the three cheerleaders' title has absolutely NOTHING to do with cheerleaders, cheering, or anything related to them. At all. Whatsoever.)

I personally got to about 33 or 34 on my own before I broke down and went to this little forum desperate for help.

Anyway, y'all should definitely have a go at it. If you want any subtle hints of mine (since the forum's hints are often not so subtle...), just post your questions in the comments.

Cheerio!
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We're Back! (Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!)

Not much to say at the moment, but school's out and Cowtown & Coolage is officially back in business.

I do have one little thing to whet your pop culture appetite -- Late Night. Who will you watch this summer, if at all? Letterman? Leno's new show? Conan's coming back June 1st, which is very exciting. However, I don't reaaaaally care about those guys so much now, despite my long love of Conan. Why? Because I've switched over to the psychotic Scottish Late Late Show host, Craig Ferguson. You know, Mr. Wick...from the Drew Carey show? He is hands-down the funniest guy on late night. If his show were 3 hours long, I would still watch it. In fact, I think that his monologue should be one straight hour long. The man is funniest by himself, a crazy, witty, random improve-master... more Conan than Conan himself (no offense, O'Brien).

sooooooo.....

....here's a pic and a clip from an episode from a few weeks ago, on Salvador Dali's birthday.

Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!

UPDATE:
And here by Emily's request is the hilarious little skit he did with fellow Scotsman, Ewan McGregor! (it also features some craaAaAaaaAaAaAaaaAaazy mustaches...)
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As is probably obvious by now...

...We here at Cowtown & Coolage are "ON HIATUS."

The short answer is school's ending -- papers, finals, looking for jobs, etc., etc., etc.

I should hopefully be back in a week or two.

Oh! On the bright side, C&C has a new contributor: Thomas Beyer, a sophomore at St. Thomas More, my friend and roommate. (You can see his Star Trek post directly below this one.)

That's all, folks.
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