"The Vampire Diaries", huh? (OoOoOOoOooOOoOoOOh!)

Well thankfully the new vamp story is gonna be on the WB.......er...uh....I mean, the "CW", so you just KNOW it's gonna be gooooood. *Cough*Cough*Coughing up lots of blood* Aaaand *blech!*

Okay, okay, okay. We all know "Twilight TV"......er, um...uh, I mean, I meant, I mean "The Vampire Diaries", yeah...we all know that "The Vampire Diaries" is going to suck big neck...but I still watched this durnded "extended preview" for the show. It's pretty entertaining, but, uh, not in the way it intends to be.


Don't get me wrong, the first minute or so is actually not that bad, it looks quite watchable, in fact -- but then it falls apart like a delicious but crumbly honey butter chicken biscuit from Whataburger. I think I stopped taking it seriously when the good-ish vampire's name was first mentioned. It's "Stefan Salvatore", by the by. Really? Stefan? Really? Salvatore, huh? And you're a Gemini? And you're favorite color is blue, not black and red? Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!

But this was not even the best part of the youtubess video. What I really wanted you to see was the comments...comments that all seemed to be written by bizarre Sasha Baron Cohen characters. Here are 10 of them, 10 comments I consider to be a good sampling of the whole........

'lovescrayons101' writes:
"THAT IS SOOOOOOO COPYING TWILIGHT!!!"

Well, the Bible did it first.

'notdonebaking' writes:
"The Vampire Diaries were written in the early 90s. How exactly does it rip off a book that came out over a decade before it?

Time travel?"

Yep. Ain't it a bitch?

'dubby115' writes:
I am disappointed! Isn't Stephen supposed to be hot?

Nope. Neither is Stefan.

'paowie555' writes:
i always imagine stefan looks like tom cruise with curly locks!

Me too, Powie. Meeee too.

'buuuhja' writes:
"when do i com in tv??"
and then
i meen. when do it come in tv??

For the last time, Buddha, DON'T com in TV!!

'canani02' writes:
why was elena coming out of the guys restroom at 1:00?"

Er...well...

'gossipgirldidi' writes:
LOVEEEEEE

That.

"I profered tv series because they wont resume the book in 2 hours... is better this way...."

Yeah, I proffered a few TV series to the networks back in the day.

'NoUCntDoItLykMe' writes:
"CNT W8 2 WATCH THIS BTW!"

0 YH, $I$T3R, M3 N31Th3R. 0H M@n! Eye c@N'T w8 2 St@B u 1Nn tHe I & TH3n 3@t @ll ur br8ns.

and finally, my personal favorite --

'darksaphire919' writes:
"shes supposed to be blonde and has lapis lazilis eyes wtf"

Lapis Lazilis eyes? What the duck?!



Oh. Okay...?




Read, Kindly Light...

Wokka Wokka!

Okay. It's official. I am in love with Craig Ferguson. I love him. I love him, and I want to make babies with him. I will bear his children.

In an effort to keep myself from finally hijacking my own pop culture blog and turning into a creepy little fansite devoted entirely to "that Scottish Conan guy", I have decided that every night I will post a few clips from the previous night's Late Late Show. Now, as I meant to publish this post yesterday, you, my lucky readers, actually get a double-dose of Craig McFerguson's sexy madness. I'll be posting up bits from last night's show later this evening.

So then...2 nights' previous, Craig had on Dennis Leary as the lead guest, and he was forced to 'bump' the comic who was supposed to follow, one 'Fozzy Bear'. Below is the opening bit from the June 2nd episode, which takes the exact formula of the orignal Muppet Show and makes it extra awesome with a side of rotf.


"Don't EVER touch me. Don't."


"What Did We Learn On The Show Tonight, Craig?"

Pooooor Fozzy.

Go HERE for more Craig. And check out that guy's friggin' wallpaper!
Read, Kindly Light...

Craig Ferguson on evil vampires... and their genitals.....

FIRST OFF: This is Cowtown & Coolage's 50th post! Yay! Can I get a "woot!"? And it's almost been half a year since I started this blog. Dang. 6 months and only 50 entries? That's like not even 10 posts per month on average. Hell, that's not even 9 posts a month. *Sniff*. I'm so lazy. *Sniff*Sniff*. I guess this is what happens when you are distracted from distraction by distraction.

SECONDLY: Man, how did I miss Conan's first Tonight Show?! He took his rightful place on the 10:30-11:30 slot, and I didn't get to watch it. Damn.

THIRDLY: This pain is partially mitigated, as Craig's visit from "The Rerun Fairy" has ended; now the "Live Fairy" is here to stay on the Late Late Show. And last night was a particularly great episode; Craig was at his goofiest/silliest/angriest/craziest/sexiest/Scottishest. (read: best).

Anywhoo, here's an awesome little video from the youtubes in which Guillermo Del Toro and Craig Ferguson say everything I tried so hard to say in that long loooooong rant concerning those durnded bloodsucking vampires. And of course, Craig Ferguson says it so much better, that funny Scottish Conan basterd!




And now for "What Did We Learn On The Show Tonight, Craig?"


Mmmmmmmmm. 2 Late Late hosts wrestling naked live? OoOooOoOoooOoooOOoOooOOOHhHhh!!!
Read, Kindly Light...

"Yooouuutuuube" -- another solid choice in addicting time-wasters

"Yooouuutuuube" sounds like something Craig Ferguson would say during his opening monologue (accompanied of course by Salvadore Dali's crazy portrait and obligatory "OOooOooOOOooh!" noise), but it is in fact a real website, albeit a strange, psychedelic sort of website that defies most descriptions.

If you follow the first link, you will be asked to enter a youtube video URL or a youtube word search. You can also simply click for a random video. Then you choose what height and width you'd like to see the videos in, and choose the "shuffle" effect or the "spiral" or neither. Then just click the big ol' "DO THIS" button at the bottom, and you're done. What happens now? Well, now yooouuutuuube turns the video or videos you've chosen into a quirky, fascinating, and often stunning collage of stop-motion footage. It doesn't work well with every single youtube video, but given the right kind of video and the proper parameters, and yooouuutuuube can produce something truly beautiful. It's the kind of thing that makes a straight arrow like me see the appeal of certain eh...... "pharmaceuticals."

To demonstrate this, here are the links to a few new yooouuutuuube videos created by Yours Truly:


---------->
"All Souled Out" - Conor Oberst & The Mystic Valley Band


---------->
"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" - She & Him


---------->
"Summer Grof" - The Spinto Band


---------->
"Pork and Beans" - Weezer


If you make any compositions of your own, please post the links in the comments. "I want to see your skills of an artist!"
Read, Kindly Light...

We're Back! (Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!)

Not much to say at the moment, but school's out and Cowtown & Coolage is officially back in business.

I do have one little thing to whet your pop culture appetite -- Late Night. Who will you watch this summer, if at all? Letterman? Leno's new show? Conan's coming back June 1st, which is very exciting. However, I don't reaaaaally care about those guys so much now, despite my long love of Conan. Why? Because I've switched over to the psychotic Scottish Late Late Show host, Craig Ferguson. You know, Mr. Wick...from the Drew Carey show? He is hands-down the funniest guy on late night. If his show were 3 hours long, I would still watch it. In fact, I think that his monologue should be one straight hour long. The man is funniest by himself, a crazy, witty, random improve-master... more Conan than Conan himself (no offense, O'Brien).

sooooooo.....

....here's a pic and a clip from an episode from a few weeks ago, on Salvador Dali's birthday.

Oo0o00oOOooO0Oo00OoOoh!

UPDATE:
And here by Emily's request is the hilarious little skit he did with fellow Scotsman, Ewan McGregor! (it also features some craaAaAaaaAaAaAaaaAaazy mustaches...)
Read, Kindly Light...